For Charlie!

 Here we are at the end of 2025 and beginning of 2026, and I decided to write my own blurb about Charlie Kirk.

I didn’t follow Charlie closely. I followed people who knew him. I had seen clips of his Turning Point campus ventures and discussions. I remember agreeing with a lot, disagreeing with some, and simply disagreeing with some of “how” he said things.  Like…I was often left wanting to discuss further and flesh out what was truly being said.  But his long-form interviews with people? I just saw a fellow brother in Christ who was on a mission.

I already followed people who were (according to identity politics) rather diverse. On the outside and inside. In fact, one of my first times even hearing about Charlie Kirk was through Dave Rubin, a man married to another man named Dave (I love it!) So already, my meter for tracking Charlie as “anti-gay” is already broken. Yeah… he’s “anti-gay” in the same ways I’m anti-gay. The same ways my church is “anti-gay.” He believed marriage was ordained by God to be between a man and a woman, and still respected each individual as a beloved child of God. In fact, shortly after his passing, a video surfaced of him DEFENDING the gay members of his movement against someone who was rather absolutist with the conservative movement (ie: gays can’t be conservative or religious).

I had heard Charlie was coming to Utah to have his conversations with students at Utah State University and Utah Valley university (UVU). Only when I heard about protests against him did I think, “Gee…this makes me want to actually go to one of his events!”

In the early afternoon, a friend of mine, who works at Utah Valley University texted our little group saying that there was a shooting and people were evacuating. At first, I had no reason to tie this to Charlie Kirk. I didn’t know the schedule. Then, I put the pieces together. Some friends were saying Charlie was shot at. I later learned that he was ACTUALLY shot! Influencers all over my social media were saying “pray for Charlie Kirk.” I had been messaging friends clarifying facts, then I saw video of when the bullet entered his neck and blood spilled out by the pint. It was worse than I thought. I know we were all praying and hoping for him. But in the words of a coworker, “He’s not going to survive that.”

I had learned he passed after being rushed to the hospital and an attempt to get him stable.

I felt very somber for a while.  Possibly a week or so.  I listened to various reactions to his death…more from people I followed more closely. Megyn Kelly spoke through tears as she gave up to date, real-time information. The guests she had were emotional as well. I was…I don’t know…appalled…and at the same time…thankful…that he died in Utah. He was surrounded by Latter-day Saints. Some of his last words that day were something to the effect of “I don’t hate on Mormons like those other Evangelicals do….I have Mormons on my staff and they’re wonderful.  We have a shared belief in Jesus Christ!”

People I didn’t even know surfaced on reels on Instagram. There were a few gay and lesbian folks who were tearful when announcing the news and offering their commentary…about someone who was supposedly opposed to their existence. But they liked and appreciated Charlie.  Charlie spoke to something the binds many of us together, regardless of skin color, sexual orientation or gender.  Some of my favorite shares were people who may have vehemently disagreed with Charlie…maybe even online nemesis…who were very tearful and mournful at his loss, an in such a public way, and while having civilized conversation with students. I witnessed several people coming to a very human level, expressing deep sadness for him, his wife and two young children, and for everyone who loved him.

I witnessed people who hardly even knew Charlie experience some deep sadness. Something inside them was awakened.

I witnessed people who, also not knowing much about him, researched him and watched full videos of him talking to college students, not finding all the racist, sexist, homophobic things they were initially told. Or rather, there were potentially problematic things that were said, but they were put in their full context.  He demanded respect for those who had to courage to come to the microphone and chat with him about current issues.

I saw celebrities, like Rosie O’Donnell, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kristin Chenoweth, even my Italiano model boyfriend, Mariano Di Vaio. Rosie said, “This is wrong on every level.” Jamie Lee found many of his views “abhorrent,” yet hoped he was connected to his faith in that moment and expressed sadness for his family. Kristin appreciated some perspectives and disagreed with others, but was very mournful for his family. “He’s in Heaven now.”

And oh was that the WRONG thing to say for a self-avowed LGBT ally (who is also a Christian). I was floored at hearing how many people were actually celebrating his death. Some people responded to Kristin with “no one mourns the wicked.” I became exceedingly frustrated when someone, a Latter-day Saint, did a write up of all the “problematic” things Charlie Kirk had said…things taken out of context…and basically told everyone what to believe about them.  

There has been much disparity between what I understood about Charlie Kirk…and the information others received about him. I found myself helpless.

Yes, there have been many efforts to memorialize him in large ways. President Trump and others immediately blamed wide swaths of people. I have my opinions, but I think many people were too quick to lay blame on wide swaths of people, an entire side of the political aisle. Nevertheless, I had precious little energy to worry about that angle of things. I don’t pay much attention to Trump anymore. I know Charlie helped him get elected, but as of now, I separate what I know of Charlie from what I know of Trump.

Charlie’s assassination made me realize (once again) how much effort I expend to reconcile with the Left. Or appease the left. A friend recently reminded me that there is so much that I see as “progressive” or “leftist” that gets passed off as moral truth that all others must reconcile to. Things like gay marriage and gender ideology, pretty much establishing that any criticism or questioning of those movements = homophobia and transphobia. All the DEI framings of power, privilege, oppressor and oppressed. They’re not just theories.  They might not be taught explicitly, but rather practiced in schools and workplaces.  Just treated as the norm.

On that note, DEI says that “white supremacy” and patriarchy are the current state of affairs in society.  Whereas the only way to dismantle them are through ideologies of social justice and not through civil rights law and color-indifferent equality.  It seems to me that Charlie was actually a gatekeeper against some who are ACTUALLY white supremacists, one of whom criticizes Vice President JD Vance for being married to an Indian-American woman and who idolizes Governor Gavin Newsome for his “beautiful white family.”  I actually have concerns for myself, since I’ve seen these extremists take legitimate concerns and fears and twist them to take advantage of the vulnerable.

I often find myself feeling in competition with others in the LGBT world, preparing myself to be pounced on if I ever uttered what I really think. I believe in two genders. I believe in several, nearly innumerable ways of being a man or a woman. I don’t believe personality traits, or “masculine” and “feminine” traits to be “genders.” I actually don’t mind calling certain aspects of myself “masculine” or “feminine.”  It doesn’t make me any less of a man.  I believe gender dysphoria is a thing. I also believe it’s possible to subtly, maybe even unintentionally lead children and teenagers to believe they’re trans. I think I could have easily been today’s trans kid. I think there have been incentives to “identify” as anything other than “straight” or “cisgender.”  (I actually reject being called cisgender).

Conservative spaces, as well as gospel-centered, doctrinal spaces have been kind of a refuge for me from these ideologies and stressors. And this might be part of why I feel some sort of threat when a new gay man enters “my turf.” I worry about LGBT ideologies creeping into every aspect of my life, even at church!

I don’t want to shut down conversation or govern what other people say or believe. I just don’t always know how to deal with it. “Loving others and living with differences…” ok but how? And how when it comes to differences on basic doctrines of the gospel and questions about creation? People say “just love,” but in my ways? Or in ways only approved by the social justice cathedral? In manipulative ways?

The assassination of Charlie Kirk made me want to be a little more forthright, a little more honest about what I think and feel…more honest when I don’t know something.  I’ve realized that there are lot of issues on which I’m rather ignorant or I simply have very little opinion. Political quizzes, although often simplistic, often put me on the political left.  Whereas I resonate a lot on culture war topics with the moderate right. 

But no matter where I am on the political aisle, I stand with those who see the death of Charlie Kirk as a “turning point” for our nation.  I don’t know what will come of it.  There is so much that I feel is much bigger than I am.  Once upon a time, after sharing some of my experiences as a gay man at church, someone told me, “you being real and authentic gives other people permission to do the same.”  I just hope that also applies to my thoughts and feelings about Charlie, about the family, about gender, about being gay within the context of the gospel, and the like.