Lessons from Singing in San Francisco

As many might know, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir went on tour along the west coast of the United States toward the end of June.  I'm sure you'd want to know many more details, but they can be found elsewhere.  In summary, I saw a blue whale, saw some orcas, saw underground Seattle, saw Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom...twice while on tour and another time the night I got home...spent some time with some hilarious, fantastic people, saw one of my besties in Seattle (you know who you are!) and sang in 7 concerts.

Only a few weeks before tour, I learned that we'd be in San Francisco right during their Pride weekend.  Not only is that a big event for San Francisco, but our hotel was right next to the parade route.  I was moderately nervous, but I knew that this leg of the tour was going to come whether I liked it or not.  I was nervous about seeing all the rainbows, equality signs and some predominantly Mormon LGBT advocacy groups with whom I find myself at odds, oddly enough.  Similarly, I was nervous about what other choir members might say about "those gays" or something negative about the Pride movement.

However, San Francisco ended up being the best stop for me on tour.  I found a piece of myself.  I learned something from a so-called liberal area of California.  I found that when I walked out of the hotel, not only did I not have to worry about being judged, but I didn't have to worry about appearing judgmental!  Everyone could just be themselves!  I feel like this is a contrast with Utah culture.  It's not just a gay thing.  I wonder if many people put on a mask when they walk out the door to adhere to some cultural norms.  If you're not being judged, then you're accused of being judgmental.  Yet in San Francisco, I felt something in the middle, and it was freeing.

Many of my fears were unfounded about the Pride scene.  Actually, the group I was with missed the parade entirely as we took a jaunt to see Alcatraz.  However, I splurged and wore a rainbow, Love, Simon-themed shirt, visible under my dressy casual button-down shirt.  I jokingly said to my group, "If anyone gives us crap, I'll use my rainbow power...".  I was grateful to find out that most people were genuinely curious about the Pride scene and enjoyed the energy in the city.  Most people seemed to understand that the basic experience of being gay is different from the extremes sometimes seen at Pride.  I don't recall hearing anything negative from other choir members...at least not within my earshot.

I realized that instead of recoiling from the rainbow flag, I can make it my own.  Pride can be just as much about my discipleship as it is about someone else' sex life.  It can be about brotherly love and companionship.  It can be anything.  Many may say that's what the Pride movement is really about, but I daresay that there indeed are polarizing voices out there telling us what we should and shouldn't feel about it, whether they come from the Church or progressive LGBT communities.  But we can pull away from that and do something new.

I don't know how long it will be before I can go to official Utah Pride events.  I'm still uncomfortable, as I'd rather do something to celebrate it with my own "covenant-keeping queer" friends.  But I am working on integrating the "me" I found in San Francisco into my Utah life.