I have questions. Don't we all? The strange thing is that I'm not in a desperate place to know the answers. There's an element of peace and also an element of feeling incomplete. Yet I feel like I have what I need at this point it time. But it's still awkward...
In light of recent events in the world, the media, coronavirus, accounts of racial injustice, I've found myself drifting towards various people offering "conservative" perspectives on various issues. These people are racially diverse too. I've learned a little about "classic liberalism," basically about a willingness to tolerate other people and their opinions as well as having decent conversations about what we actually agree and disagree about. I've become a fan of Dave Rubin, a self-proclaimed "classical liberal" who has many interviews with people from the conservative end of things as well as from the middle to left of the political spectrum. He's married to his husband, yet doesn't seem to be in lockstep with the LGBT political machine of the day.
This is what I sometimes have unresolved tensions on...that gay marriage seems to be a part of classical liberalism, a security of individual rights. It makes sense. I understand where Dave and others come from. Yet sometimes I'm still baffled as to how I felt like I needed to support the traditional, orthodox view of marriage and family. I still feel like I understand where the LDS Church and other good faith organizations and individuals are coming from when they favor the nuclear family unit. It doesn't mean that everyone is going to have that, but even among those who don't (like a close confidant of mine who chose to have a child out of wedlock but has since been through the temple and is faithful to the gospel), it's still possible to see and understand the ideal.
Even with that, I still cherish the idea of same-sex love wherever it is found. Of course, I operate off the belief that my church has never told me that I can't love a man. Rather, it's more about boundaries around sexual relations and the institution of marriage. I appreciate it when shows such as Modern Family or Schitt's Creek depict how being gay, or being in a gay relationship can be integrated naturally into family life, mutual respect and being contributing members of society. I also appreciate the show, Queer Eye, and how the "Fab 5" does good in the world and builds relationships among a wide variety of people...even among religious leaders who might teach an orthodox, traditional sexual ethic.
I appreciate it when it's just naturally put in as part of the story as opposed to what feels like "tokenism" to me. It's hard to describe exactly what I like and don't like as far as gay depictions in the media (of course...I don't think many will take well to an openly gay celibate Christian portrayed, but I digress). I struggle when it feels like intentionally putting in a gay couple or furthermore, portraying them as "good" and other straight people...especially those with conservative Christian backgrounds as "bad." Let me allude to not one, but TWO movies I saw on the plane ride to and from our 2016 Tabernacle Choir tour in Central Europe. They were Ricky and the Flash, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding II. They were both decent movies in their own right, yet I found it ironic that both of the movies depicted a gay sibling who then found a partner by the closing scenes of the two movies. I don't know...as I write this, I struggle to find a reason why I struggled with that, other than I struggled with it. These were two movies that came out at the same time and it just felt like a "trend" rather than weaving it in naturally to the storyline. But whatever, others might disagree.
(Side note: I recently saw a post about how Disney needs to represent the LGBT community more and how two women kissing at the end of Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker wasn't enough. I was like, um..."isn't Poe Dameron and his open collar enough for all the gay men out there????")
I've enjoyed following people like Dave Rubin. He and his husband actually had the opportunity to meet President Donald Trump at some sort of important dinner (look at the video here). Their experience is that he was warm and welcoming to them. He stood up to shake their hands and mention that he didn't give a <swear> that they were gay and married and that no one's given a <swear> for decades...perhaps to make up for what much of the media has said about the Trump administration...that they're all bigoted and homophobic. Even when it comes to Mike Pence, I think it would be interesting to sit down and have a conversation with him, because I don't know that I can trust everything the media says.
OK, back to Dave. I understand that he and his husband are getting ready to welcome a baby into their family. I like this. I support them. The thing is, I still believe in and can understand the Family Proclamation. For me, I never wanted to be "against equality." I could never quite articulate what the government should do as far as marriage legislation. All I had was my own testimony and perspectives. The thing I like about Dave is that I could probably have a decent discussion with him and come away not feeling like a horrible person, with him understanding that I (and probably many other religious conservative folks) am not coming from a place of "homophobia" or "bigotry."
So there's some ambiguity here, and I have to live with it.
OK, enough about Dave. Let me complain a spell.
It's the middle of Pride Month. I've written a few posts about how I feel about Pride and some of the conflicts it brings. Something interesting to note is that two of the households in my townhome complex are hanging rainbow Pride flags, while neither myself nor the set of husbands near me are. I'm more inclined to hang the Stars and Stripes, although I'll probably do that as a door decoration or somewhere in my front garden.
This is a month (and it's definitely not unique to the month of June) where celebrities...even some with whom I've shared the stage...albeit among 400+ other people...post something about their feelings of affinity and concern for "the LGBT community." Of course it always leans toward the more liberal, gay affirming side of things. I never truly feel included in their comments. It's always about "love is love" and "being shamed for who you love," etc. Sometimes it feels like a perpetuation of oppression. I've conversed a little with some local "social justice warriors," and sometimes they'll say, "I'll support you whatever path you're on." But to celebrities and other SJWs alike...how about we have more of a conversation where some of us come from, about how we don't view our religious institutions nor our traditional beliefs as intrinsically "homophobic."
Another cause of angst is that some people, especially members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, are drawn in to Pride events or other...uh...more "rainbowy" LGBT events and movements out of their own baptismal covenants to "mourn with those who mourn" or "comfort those who stand in need of comfort." These principles might even push them toward believing that the Church, can, should or will change the doctrine of marriage and the standards of chastity. My journey in the gospel so far has not pushed me down that road of belief. Does that make me wrong and them right? Are we both wrong? Are we both right?
I have the same questions about my pre-2015 grappling. Does my feeling to understand and even stand behind the traditional family unit during that time mean "anti-equality?" Can God prompt someone to be "anti-equality?" Or is there "spiritual equality" and "political equality?" And is it possible that "political equality" gets amplified over everything else and get used as a weapon towards those who believe differently?
These are kinds of questions that may not have answers right now. Of course everyone's wondering WHAT is right (and in my experience, left-wing politics and methods of teaching "inclusion and diversity" seem to claim to have all the answers to these kinds of things, yet it's much more nuanced for many of us).
Anyway, I don't have any clear sort of conclusion. I suppose it represents the lack of closure I feel between opposing viewpoints that seem to get further and further apart...
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