"I Know that God Loveth His Children..."

 "I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things... (1 Nephi 11:17)" neither do I believe in or trust every ideology that carries this slogan.

And I don't know everything.  There is uncertainty, but expressing, "I don't know" is not always an invitation to be lectured to or educated by someone who "does know."  On many things, I need to search and ponder on my own.  With boundaries and retention of my own humanity, I can hear and entertain perspectives.  I can hear and learn about theories, but I cannot subscribe to them, make oaths and promises and perform specific tasks when I do not feel they are genuine, especially when based on my skin color, gender or sexual orientation.

The difficult thing is that yes, there might be nuggets of truth in various ideologies in this world and in this cultural moment.  That doesn't mean I need to adopt the entire worldview as "the way."  In fact, we hear a lot about the "philosophies of men mingled with scripture."  Not to say that all ideas outside of official Latter-day Saint teachings are "bad."  It just speaks to the tactics of the adversary and the great need for discernment and something the prophet has said that "in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost."

An example that I've come across recently is using the prophet's counsel to "lead out in abandoning attitudes and actions of prejudice" (October 2020) to put forth a very specific form of anti-racist ideology.  If people do not obey, then they are not obeying the prophet and are (like Robin Di'Angelo would say) complicit in and upholding a system of white supremacy and are worthy of being chastised.  Just because there are such things as liberation theology, women's studies, queer studies, white studies, it doesn't mean that's the way the world actually works or that God communicates to everyone through those lenses.  Also, I do not know the Church's stance on various racial ideologies or if I need to be racialized in order to be "part of the solution."  Personally, I've been following Dr. Sheena Mason's "Theory of Racelessness."

Something that bothers me personally is equating or comingling rainbow symbols and gay Pride with scripture, "mourning with those who mourn" or simply "showing love."  I am concerned that it's becoming the neutral lens through which all things LGBT-related get filtered.  And if anyone falls out of line or does not agree, we're "part of the problem" or on "the wrong side of history."  I will admit that I've sometimes used the rainbow when it's paired with something (usually politically conservative) that I actually agree with.  This is because I view the rainbow as a tribal, leftist, virtue signaling symbol.  

President Nelson's counsel about prejudice was also shared all over the place in response to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk in August of 2021 at Brigham Young University, reaffirming the doctrine of marriage and the law of chastity and trying to redirect teaching to be in harmony with gospel doctrine.  It was depicted by many as hateful, bigoted and homophobic.  Elder Holland made an analogy of "musket fire" when it came to sustaining and defending gospel truths.  He mentioned that there's been some unfortunate "friendly fire" toward Latter-day Saints from other Latter-day Saints regarding very fundamental and sacred doctrines.  I daresay that I've been on the receiving end of some of the "friendly fire" he mentioned...and I'm gay.  There are a host of cultural things we could discuss.  I'd want to encourage same-sex (especially among men) physical affection and developing chaste relationships, basically exploring same-sex love within the bounds the Lord has set, but sadly it's fraught, yes, with potential human temptation, but also public image and media spin.  But all that doesn't change that I understood what Elder Holland was trying to convey.  To say that I personally would have worded some things differently doesn't change the spirit of truth that I felt.

I recently listened to the story of someone I know who is non-binary.  I believe this person about their own story and experiences.  I resonated deeply with the uncertainty and praying to Heavenly Father for guidance.  I resonated deeply with receiving answers that I was not expecting.  This doesn't mean that I'm on board with gender ideology; the belief that gender is just a made-up social construct and that gender is simply "assigned" based on social expectations.  I choose not to list my pronouns.  I was not "assigned" male at birth.  My gender was observed.  Imposing something else on me is a breach of my boundaries.  I used to be somewhat of a trans advocate, but I've scaled back with the departure from biological reality, challenging separate male and female spaces, and bringing LGBT ideas to young children in school.

I follow a lesbian couple that once made commentary on their Instagram account that the nuclear family is still a beautiful, honorable and essential ideal in society.  They have something different (and we obviously have differing views on morality), and that's ok from a classically liberal perspective.  People can be different.  I can be different.  People can have a unique struggle or experience with gender, but it doesn't change the essential, mortal and eternal nature of gender, male and female.  I can exist and navigate relationships outside of marriage, but it doesn't mean "heteronormativity" can't still be a norm and something that has been a fundamental unit in society for many centuries (and a factor in eternal progression, but that's way above and beyond me).  Some say that today's advocacy is just for the "exceptions" and that no one is trying to destroy the mold.  I disagree.

Since I'm one who has been sort of a natural peacemaker and empath, one might think that social justice ideologies would be compatible with my being.  It's all about "love and inclusion" right?  Instead, I feel abused and manipulated and I've been working to recover.  What's more is that most of the things I think and feel are termed "fragility" and "typical of people with privilege."  It's a dangerous recipe for someone like me.  It's not genuine.  An ironic thing about "be yourself" and "you do you," in an effort to break away from puritanical culture, is that some of those who have promoted those principles have adopted another set of beliefs and rules by which to judge everyone.

It was brought to my attention that when there are disagreements, we can usually find bigger pictures to agree upon.  "I know that God loveth His children..." can guide how I interact with individuals, and not usually collectives.  That I can manage and strive to do every day.